WWE RAW Results: April 1, 2013

Urning a Spot in Hell.

With WrestleMania 29 just six nights away, the 1036th edition, and the final edition before WrestleMania, of WWE Monday Night RAW came to you, live, from the Verizon Center in Washington, D.C. The final RAW before WrestleMania would definitely have a WrestleMania feel as, on a star-studded RAW, thirteen-time World Champion “The Game” Triple H may very well be making his last RAW appearance as an active member of the WWE roster before his No Holds Barred Match at WrestleMania where his legendary career will be on the line with the man who will try to end his career this Sunday, “The Beast” Brock Lesnar also in the arena! Not only that, but the self-proclaimed “Best in the World” CM Punk and his WrestleMania opponent, “The Phenom” The Undertaker, will also be in the Verizon Center! Also, just one week after The Rock laid John Cena out with the Rock Bottom in the center of the ring, in front of a host of WWE Hall of Famers, no less, both “The People’s WWE Champion” and the #1 Contender for his title, John Cena, will be present at RAW, as well!

Match Results

• 6-Man Tag: Big Show, Sheamus, & Randy Orton def. 3MB by Big Show pinning Jinder Mahal following the K.O. Punch.
• Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee & Big E. Langston) def. Daniel Bryan (with Kane) by roll-up.
• Non-Title: Wade Barrett def. Zack Ryder (with The Miz) by pin following the Bull Hammer Elbow.
• Mark Henry def. Santino Marella by pin following the World’s Strongest Slam.
• Non-Title: Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) def. Zeb Colter (with Jack Swagger) by DQ after Zeb Colter uses a crutch.
• Non-Title: Chris Jericho def. Antonio Cesaro (with Fandango) by submission to the Walls of Jericho.
• The Bella Twins def. The Funkadactyls by Bella rolling up Cameron.

Detailed Results

One week after being laid out with the Rock Bottom, courtesy of WWE Champion The Rock, in front of a host of WWE Hall of Famers, RAW kicks off with the #1 Contender for The Rock’s WWE Title at WrestleMania 29, John Cena. Cena states the he stands in front of a “house divided”, saying that the crowd is full of “Cena-crats” and “Rock-publicans”. Cena continues, saying that it is no secret that he and The Rock do not get along, saying that The Rock is “worthy” of being called the WWE Champion. Cena then vows that the “childish games” are over between him and The Rock, saying that The Rock has come back and accomplished everything he set out to do upon his return. Cena then proclaims that, at WrestleMania, “The Great One” will “fall”, saying that The Rock’s “time is up” and “my time is now”. Cena continues, saying that he had to sit in the back and watch The Rock unveil a new WWE Title belt, claiming that The Rock stuck his own foot in his mouth. Cena then says that, in The Rock’s first defense of the new WWE Title belt, Rock will “lose it”! Cena continues, saying that The Rock will experience “failure” at WrestleMania and, any time that the WWE is mentioned, Rock will be reminded that the WWE Title belt that was “made” for The Rock will be “defended” by him. Cena then says that he will prove that he is not only The Rock’s equal, but he is “better” than The Rock, proclaiming that “the champ is here”!

Before they collide with The Shield in a 6-Man Tag Match at WrestleMania, the super team of “The World’s Largest Athlete” Big Show, “The Celtic Warrior” Sheamus, & “The World’s Largest Athlete” Big Show would face 3MB, Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, & Drew McIntyre in a 6-Man Tag Match on RAW. In the end, it was Randy Orton hitting the RKO on Heath Slater, Sheamus hitting the Brogue Kick on Drew McIntyre, and, finally, Big Show lays Jinder Mahal out with the K.O. Punch en route to Big Show pinning Jinder Mahal to pick up the win for his team. After the match, The Shield would come out, opting to stay in the crowd, sending a verbal message to Big Show, Sheamus, & Orton. Dean Ambrose tells the trio to enjoy their victory while they can because, at WrestleMania, The Shield will leave them with “nothing to celebrate about”. Seth Rollins then says that they have finally convinced themselves and the fans that they are on the same page, but argues that “justice never lies” and they know the truth. Roman Reigns then says that the truth is that their team is “phony” and, at WrestleMania, they will “believe in The Shield”.

Six nights before he challenges Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 29, “The Real American” Jack Swagger appears with the self-proclaimed “Founding Father” Zeb Colter in front of the nation’s capital in a pre-taped message for the World Heavyweight Champion. Zeb Colter states that, much like Ricardo Rodriguez’s ankle, America is “broken”. Jack Swagger then says that they all know that the country is in trouble and, at WrestleMania, he will not only take the World Heavyweight Title from Alberto Del Rio, Del Rio will witness “change”, firsthand, as a “real American” stands over Del Rio as the new World Heavyweight Champion.

Back in the arena, Matt Striker conducts a backstage interview with World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio says that Jack Swagger has the “freedom of speech”, but he has the right to do something about it. Del Rio then reveals that Zeb Colter has actually challenged him later tonight, calling Colter a “big, fat piñata with a mustache” that he is about to break.

Before he and Kane defend the WWE Tag Team Titles against Dolph Ziggler & Big E. Langston at WrestleMania, one-half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Daniel Bryan, with Kane in his corner, went one-on-one with “Mr. Money-in-the-Bank” Dolph Ziggler, with AJ Lee & Big E. Langston in his corner, on RAW. During the match, AJ Lee would distract Kane on the outside, allowing Big E. Langston to take “The Big Red Monster” out. Daniel Bryan would then take Langston down with a baseball slide to the outside, but the distraction would allow Dolph Ziggler to take advantage, catching Daniel Bryan by surprise with a roll-up to pick up the win. After the match, Big E. Langston enters the ring, taking Daniel Bryan down, but Kane would come to the rescue, taking Ziggler down. However, when Kane went for a chokeslam on Big E. Langston, Langston would use his freakish strength to physically remove Kane’s hand from around his throat before hoisting “The Big Red Monster” up and dropping Kane with the Big Ending. AJ Lee then hands the WWE Tag Team Title belts to Dolph Ziggler & Big E. Langston as they hold the belts high above their heads as Team Hell No is laid out in the middle of the ring.

For the first time since having his arm broken by Brock Lesnar prior to SummerSlam last year, a good friend of Triple H’s would make a rare appearance as WWE Hall of Famer “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels would appear on RAW to weigh in on Triple H’s career-threatening No Holds Barred Match against Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania! The man known as “Mr. WrestleMania” says that the Road to WrestleMania is really starting to pick up steam and, while there are some big time matches on the WrestleMania card, there is one match that he is particularly interested in, the No Holds Barred Match between his friend Triple H and “The Beast” Brock Lesnar where Triple H’s career will be on the line. Michaels continues, saying that, when the match became about the possible end of Triple H’s career, that is when he started to have some “serious doubts” about the match. Shawn Michaels is then interrupted by his friend and former tag team partner, the COO of the WWE, “The Game” Triple H. After the two patriarchs of D-Generation X hug in the ring, Triple H tells HBK that he knows what he’s doing, but Michaels argues that he does not think that “The Game” knows what he is doing. Michaels says that, when his career was on the line against The Undertaker at WrestleMania a few years ago, he looked across the ring at a man that he “respected” and, after he lost his career-threatening match to The Undertaker, he was “heartbroken” and he knew that Undertaker was just as heartbroken. Michaels continues, saying that it means the world to him that The Undertaker has not so much as mentioned that he ended Michaels’ career since the match took place. Michaels then says that Brock Lesnar does not have an “ounce of respect” for Triple H, his career, or any of the fans, saying that Brock competes because he “enjoys wreaking havoc”. HBK continues, saying that being a WWE Superstar has become Triple H’s “life” and, by putting his career on the line at WrestleMania, Triple H is putting his life on the line.

Triple H says that it does not matter what Shawn Michaels says because he will not be talked out of his match with Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania. However, Michaels says that he did not go through the trouble of coming all the way to Washington, D.C. just to tell Triple H that he could not do it, he came to RAW to tell Triple H that he has better kick Brock Lesnar’s “ass”! Michaels then reveals that, unlike at SummerSlam, he is going to be in Triple H’s corner to watch it all go down! The two friends then embrace before they are ready to do their signature DX send-off. However, things take a sinister turn with the arrival of Triple H’s WrestleMania opponent, Brock Lesnar, and his representative, Paul Heyman. While doing his best to hold his client back, Paul Heyman says that Lesnar has “two words” for Triple H & Shawn Michaels, saying that Brock is going to beat Triple H “into retirement” at WrestleMania. Heyman continues, saying that Triple H and the fans will have to “learn to live” with all of the disappointment he will feel after WrestleMania. Heyman says that Triple H will “disappoint” his father-in-law, Vince McMahon, because Triple H will no longer be able to fight Vince’s battles for him and Triple H will disappoint the WWE Board of Directors because Triple H will be unable to perform his duties as the COO of the WWE. Heyman continues, saying that Triple H will disappoint his wife, Stephanie, adding that she is probably used to being disappointed by her husband! Heyman then says that he is a “good negotiator” and that is why Brock gets “paid to fight”, asking if Shawn Michaels really wants to be so close to Triple H at WrestleMania, possibly setting himself up to get his arm broken by Lesnar for a second time. As both Triple H & Shawn Michaels look ready to fight, Heyman continues, saying that Triple H should have just “walked away” just like Michaels walked away when he got beat at WrestleMania. Heyman then has the ominous prediction that Triple H will not be able to “walk away” come WrestleMania as, when Brock is done with Triple H, Triple H will “crawl away” as an “emasculated retiree” who has disappointed the fans. Heyman then states that, after all these years, Brock Lesnar has finally made “The Cerebral Assassin” commit “professional suicide”!

With his Intercontinental Title match against Wade Barrett on the WrestleMania Pre-Show quickly approaching, The Miz was a guest on commentary as Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett went one-on-one with Zack Ryder in a non-title match. In the end, it was Wade Barrett putting Zack Ryder down with the Bull Hammer Elbow en route to picking up the win.

After pulling an April Fool’s joke on RAW Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero and her Assistant, Brad Maddox, Santino Marella would suffer the consequences as Santino would be forced to go one-on-one with “The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry just six nights before Mark Henry collides with Ryback at WrestleMania. Naturally, Mark Henry makes quick work of Santino Marella, squashing Santino with the World’s Strongest Slam en route to picking up the one-sided victory. After the match, Ryback marches to the ring, looking for a fight with Mark Henry. However, Mark Henry grabs a microphone, saying that almost beating his bench press record is no excuse for Ryback to come down there and “threaten” him. Mark Henry then says that no one wants to get their hands on Ryback more than him and he knows that Ryback wants to get his hands on him, as well. Mark Henry continues, saying that tonight is not the night for that before Henry makes his exit. However, Ryback uses Santino Marella to knock Mark Henry out of the ring before using Santino as a weapon, launching Santino at Henry on the outside, cleverly avoiding direct contact with Mark Henry, which would negate their WrestleMania match.

Backstage, Matt Striker interviews CM Punk as Punk says that he does not “give a damn” about the memory of Paul Bearer. Punk then says that he will do “whatever it takes” to beat The Undertaker at WrestleMania and, after WrestleMania, whenever someone thinks about WrestleMania, they will think about CM Punk.

In a bizarre match requested by Zeb Colter himself, “The Founding Father” Zeb Colter, with Jack Swagger in his corner, would actually go one-on-one with World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio, with Ricardo Rodriguez in his corner, despite Del Rio asking Rodriguez to stay in the back. During the match, Jack Swagger would close in on Ricardo Rodriguez on the outside of the ring and Rodriguez would raise his crutch above his head, ready to try and defend himself. However, Zeb Colter would take the crutch away from Rodriguez as Jack Swagger takes Rodriguez to the floor, trying to do serious damage to Rodriguez’s already injured ankle. Del Rio would make the save for his friend, however, taking Swagger down with a baseball slide. Colter would then spot his opportunity, using the crutch to waylay Del Rio, but Del Rio would grab the crutch, taking it away from Colter. However, Swagger would use a chop block to take Del Rio down before he and Colter take the two parts of the crutch to wear the World Heavyweight Champion down with countless shots to the back and ribs of Del Rio, leaving Del Rio beaten and broken in the middle of the ring with welts covering his body!

After John Cena made his poignant comments about him when RAW came on the air, “The People’s WWE Champion” himself, The Rock, would offer the rebuttal to his WrestleMania opponent on RAW. The WWE Champion says that his connection with the people is the only reason that he is standing in a WWE ring right now, saying that the “will of the people” is for The Rock to “curb stomp John Cena’s monkey ass” at WrestleMania. The Rock continues, saying that, with the will of the people, they can “change the world”, suggesting that the people could vote The Rock in as the next President of the United States! The Rock then turns his attention to John Cena, saying that, this Sunday, it will not be Cena’s time because Cena’s time is “never”. Rock continues, saying that the only way that Cena will ever get the WWE Title is if The Rock shoves it up his candy ass! The WWE Champion then says that Cena will be facing a connection and a bond like no other as Cena will face The Rock and the “millions and millions” of fans, vowing that Cena “cannot deny the will of the people” and Cena “cannot defeat” The Rock!

Six nights before he goes one-on-one with Fandango at WrestleMania, “Y2J” Chris Jericho was in action on RAW as Jericho went one-on-one with United States Champion Antonio Cesaro in a non-title match. During the match, Fandango would do his trademark dance out to the staging area with his dance partner. The match would continue and, later on in the match, Jericho would hit the Lionsault on Cesaro and Fandango would actually hold up a “3”, apparently rating Jericho’s performance in the match! Shortly after this, Jericho became fed up with Fandango’s antics, hitting a baseball slide that knocks Fandango to the floor. Jericho then locks in the Walls of Jericho on Antonio Cesaro, making the United States Champion tap out to pick up the win. As soon as the match ends, Fandango hits the ring, assaulting Jericho before twice hitting his signature leg drop off of the top rope on Y2J.

Before they join Tons of Funk, Brodus Clay & Tensai, in an 8-Person Mixed Tag Match against Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins at WrestleMania 29, The Funkadactyls, Cameron & Naomi, would face The Bella Twins in Divas tag action. In the end, it was Cameron hitting a high cross body on one of The Bella Twins, but one of the Bellas would counter the pinfall attempt, rolling Cameron up to pick up the win for The Bella Twins.

After weeks of CM Punk disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer, The Undertaker would make a special appearance on RAW to verbally eviscerate CM Punk just six nights before they clash on WrestleMania. The Undertaker says that the pain waiting for CM Punk at WrestleMania is going to “last an eternity”, saying that Punk is the one who decided to make things personal and, for that, Punk will “suffer”. Undertaker continues, saying that the disrespect that Punk has shown Paul Bearer will result in Punk paying the “ultimate price”. Undertaker admits that, in his current state of mind, his undefeated WrestleMania streak may end this Sunday, but CM Punk will not live to talk about it! The Undertaker is then interrupted by ominous music and a host of druids lining the ramp with two druids holding lit torches on the staging area. What happened next was nothing short of shocking and disrespectful as a Paul Bearer impersonator comes out to the stage, holding the urn! Angered beyond comprehension, The Undertaker makes a beeline for the stage, where he begins to assault the druids lined up on the ramp. It is then that one of the druids attack Undertaker from behind before the druid reveals himself to be CM Punk! Punk then continues to beat down The Undertaker before it is revealed that Paul Heyman was the one portraying Paul Bearer as Heyman tosses the urn to Punk, who drives it into the mid-section of The Undertaker. Punk then repeatedly slams the urn into the back of The Undertaker, screaming at Undertaker, “I did this to you”! Punk then continues to wear out The Undertaker, driving the urn into the chest of “The Phenom” before opening the urn and tossing the cremated remains of The Undertaker’s deceased mother all over The Undertaker’s prone body! Punk then kneels next to The Undertaker, holding the urn over his head and rubbing the urn’s contents on his face and body!

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