WWE Monday Night RAW SuperShow January 16, 2012 Results

Laurinaitis’ cheap pop.

The 974th edition of WWE Monday Night RAW was a RAW SuperShow and it came to you, live, from the Honda Center in Anaheim, CA. After Kane chokeslammed Zack Ryder off of the loading dock on last week’s RAW, it seems unlikely that Ryder will be able to compete, much less defend the United States Title against Jack Swagger in their scheduled match. After recently completing a Diva Boot Camp, celebrity blogger Perez Hilton will appear on the RAW SuperShow as a special guest ring announcer for the Divas Match on RAW. On Sunday night in Oakland, Primo & Epico defeated Air Boom to become the new WWE Tag Team Champions, ending Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston’s near five-month reign as the tag champions, but when will Air Boom get their mandatory rematch for the gold and can they regain the titles?

Match Results

• WWE Tag Team Championship: Primo & Epico (c) def. Air Boom by Epico (c) pinning Evan Bourne following the Back Stabber to retain.
• United States Championship: Jack Swagger def. Zack Ryder (c) by pin following the Swagger Bomb to win the United States Title.
• Kelly Kelly & Alicia Fox (with Perez Hilton) def. The Bella Twins by Kelly Kelly rolling up Bella.
• Over-The-Top Rope Challenge: R-Truth def. Sheamus, The Miz, & Wade Barrett
• Brodus Clay def. JTG by pin following Ah, Funk It.
• 3-on-2 Handicap Match: Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry, & David Otunga def. CM Punk & Mick Foley after John Laurinaitis reverses the referee’s decision due to Mick Foley not being allowed to compete.

Detailed Results

The show kicks off with a WWE Legend as three-time WWE Champion and “Hardcore Legend” Mick Foley opens RAW. Foley explains that, when he returned to the WWE a few months ago, he was “more than content” performing in a non-physical role, doing things like dressing as Santa Claus and hosting the “This Is Your Life” segment with John Cena. Foley continues that, the reason he was fine with these non-physical roles, was because he has already had the opportunity to live out his dreams in the WWE, which he did when he headlined WrestleMania in Anaheim. Foley then says that his children would love to see him compete in the ring one more time before the legend drops the bombshell that he intends to be one of the 30 participants in the 2012 Royal Rumble Match!

Mick Foley is then interrupted by the shrill voice of Vickie Guerrero as Vickie introduces the #1 Contender for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble, Dolph Ziggler, as the two of them make their way to the ring. Dolph asks Foley is Foley just wants to show up and “take” a spot in the Royal Rumble Match before saying that Foley’s children will be disappointed by Foley’s Rumble appearance. Foley responds by saying that the same “magic” could be in the air on the night of the Royal Rumble before saying that he is just not in the Rumble Match to be in it, he is in it to “win it”. Dolph then says that John Cena “ran away” from him last week and he beat WWE Champion CM Punk “two weeks in a row”, adding that it would be a “letdown” if he had to defend the WWE Title against an “out-of-shape, walking punch line” like Foley. Dolph then says that Foley is out there to make a “fool” out of himself before telling the legend to “go home” and just “go away”.

WWE Champion CM Punk then interrupts Dolph Ziggler’s public bashing of Mick Foley as Punk says it is good to see Foley. Punk says that him and Foley are a lot alike because they have never tried to fit the mold of being just like every WWE Superstar, adding that neither of him “hide behind a woman” because they like to do their own talking. Punk continues that everything he and Foley have they have “earned” their accomplishments. Punk then says that, despite the “turd in the punch bowl” that is John Laurinaitis, he will retain the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble and it would be awesome to face Mick Foley at WrestleMania.

As an argument erupts between CM Punk and Vickie Guerrero, Interim RAW General Manager John Laurinaitis comes out, claiming that he will be “impartial” in the WWE Title match at the Royal Rumble. The GM continues that he has taken Mick Foley’s entrance into the Royal Rumble Match into consideration before Laurinaitis tells Foley “no”, denying Foley the opportunity to live out a dream! How will Mick Foley respond to John Laurinaitis’ ruling?

One night after losing the WWE Tag Team Titles to Primo & Epico at a WWE Live Event, Air Boom would get their mandatory rematch as Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston challenged Primo & Epico, with Rosa Mendes in their corner, for the WWE Tag Team Championship. In the end, it was Epico hitting the Back Stabber on Evan Bourne en route to picking up the win and successfully retaining the WWE Tag Team Titles for himself and Primo.

Backstage, Interim RAW General Manager John Laurinaitis informs a Superstar that he will team with WWE Champion CM Punk and World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan to face Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry, and David Otunga in a 6-Man Tag Match. The individual is then revealed to be none other than Chris Jericho!

Backstage, interviewer Josh Mathews asks United States Champion Zack Ryder, who has taped up ribs as a result of being chokeslammed of a loading dock by Kane last week, if Ryder has been cleared to compete. Ryder reveals that he has not been cleared, but he will not forfeit the United States Title, adding that he is going to the ring, which prompts Eve to volunteer to go with him.

Despite not being cleared to compete by WWE doctors, Zack Ryder, with Eve in his corner, would defend the United States Title against “The All-American American” Jack Swagger, with Vickie Guerrero in his corner. During the match, Zack Ryder manages to kick out of, not one, but two Swagger Bombs, but when Jack Swagger hits a third Swagger Bomb, the already injured Ryder could not kick out as Swagger defeats Ryder to become the new United States Champion!

Backstage, former United States Champion Zack Ryder is being examined when Interim RAW General Manager John Laurinaitis enters, asking if Ryder is okay. The GM then says that Ryder should not have competed, but he just opened up the doctor’s report a few minutes ago before saying he is sorry and it is his “bad”. Eve is irate at the GM’s lack of concern, saying that Laurinaitis let one of the Superstars he is concerned for compete, but Laurinaitis tells Eve to shut her mouth.

To a chorus of boos from the fans, celebrity blogger Perez Hilton appeared on RAW as the special guest ring announcer as Kelly Kelly teams with Alicia Fox to face The Bella Twins. During the match, The Bella Twins would attempt their signature Twin Magic, but Perez Hilton would pull one of the Bellas out of the ring, allowing Kelly Kelly to roll-up the legal Bella to pick up the win.

R-Truth makes an appearance on the RAW SuperShow, but before R-Truth can speak a single word, he is interrupted by Wade Barrett. Barrett tells R-Truth that Truth will be hearing his name again very soon when he wins the Royal Rumble Match, adding that, unlike Mick Foley, he is an “official” participant. Barrett then says that R-Truth should be in a “straight jacket” before Truth asks Barrett why Barrett is so mad. Truth continues that he misses Barrett’s smile before presenting his slide show from his trip to Disneyland, where Truth took pictures with the likes of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Pinocchio. Truth then says that, when Pinocchio said that Barrett would win the Rumble, his nose grew. R-Truth continues that he believes mice can talk and elephants can fly, but he does not believe for a second that Barrett will win the Royal Rumble Match. R-Truth is then attacked from behind by The Miz, but when R-Truth gets the advantage, Wade Barrett joins in. However, Sheamus comes to the rescue, evening the odds before SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long comes out, saying that, since John Laurinaitis is busy, he will handle things. Long then announces an Over-The-Top Rope Challenge between The Miz, R-Truth, Sheamus, & Wade Barrett.

Per the orders of SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long, R-Truth, The Miz, Sheamus, and Wade Barrett squared off in an Over-The-Top Rope Challenge. In a very brief alliance, The Miz would actually assist Sheamus and R-Truth in eliminating Wade Barrett. In the end, it was Sheamus trying to eliminate The Miz, but R-Truth comes in from behind to eliminate both men to win the match. After the match, Sheamus blasts The Miz with the Brogue Kick on the outside of the ring.

Backstage, Interim RAW General Manager John Laurinaitis is confronted by John Cena, who is irate over the GM’s handling of Zack Ryder. The GM then informs Cena that, at the Royal Rumble, Cena will go one-on-one with Kane. Laurinaitis also puts Cena in a non-title match against the new United States Champion, Jack Swagger, on RAW!

In an impromptu match made by John Laurinaitis, John Cena went one-on-one with the new United States Champion, Jack Swagger, in a non-title match. However, John Cena does not allow the match to begin as an angry Cena pummels the new United States Champion in and out of the ring, repeatedly delivering right hands to the face of Jack Swagger. Cena then sends Swagger shoulder-first into the steel steps before Cena takes the steps apart, repeatedly bounding the skull of the United States Champion off of the steel steps. With Swagger lying face down on the steel steps, Cena grabs the other half of the steps, but before Cena can smash the skull of Swagger, Kane’s music stops Cena. Kane appears on the big screen, saying that, by the time he and Cena square off at the Royal Rumble, Cena will have “embraced the hate”. What will happen in two weeks at the Royal Rumble when John Cena and Kane finally go one-on-one?

After his charismatic and entertaining RAW debut last week, “the only living, breathing Funkosaurus in captivity” Brodus Clay went one-on-one with JTG. In the end, it was Brodus Clay hits the flying cross body that he calls the “Ah, Funk It” on JTG en route to picking up the win.

After Big Show accidentally collided with his girlfriend, A.J., on SmackDown, World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan appears on RAW. Bryan says that Big Show is a “cruel, inhospitable freak” who had “no problem” bowling over A.J., adding that A.J. has been traumatized and will never be the same. Bryan continues that Big Show could have stopped, but he “intentionally” knocked A.J. down just to get to him and just to get to the World Heavyweight Title, adding that Big Show’s actions were “pathetic”. Bryan then says Big Show did not apologize, he just cried like a “blithering idiot”, adding that Show’s tears were “fake”. Bryan then threatens Big Show, telling Show that, if Show ever appears on SmackDown again, he will make Big Show “pay”. Daniel Bryan then moves on to his title defense against Mark Henry on Friday’s SmackDown, saying that he is dedicating the match to A.J., adding that he “appreciates” A.J. saying she loves him and he is going to show her how much.

Then it was time for the main event as, after a year and a half absence from in-ring competition, Chris Jericho returns to action as “Y2J” teams with WWE Champion CM Punk and World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan to face the team of the #1 Contender for the WWE Title, Dolph Ziggler, the #1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Title, Mark Henry, and the legal counsel for John Laurinaitis, David Otunga, in a 6-Man Tag Match. With the crowd anxiously waiting for Chris Jericho to get the tag, CM Punk is finally able to make the tag to Jericho, but after an elated Jericho soaks in another stellar reaction from the crowd, Jericho tags Daniel Bryan in before walking out of the match, making the match a 3-on-2 Handicap Match!

Later on in the match, Daniel Bryan comes face-to-face with Mark Henry and, after slapping “The World’s Strongest Man”, the World Heavyweight Champion hobbles away from Henry, but the #1 Contender catches up Bryan, tossing Bryan on the steel ramp before both men fight to the backstage area. Meanwhile, “The Hardcore Legend” Mick Foley rushes out and gets on the apron, convincing the referee that John Laurinaitis is allowing him to compete in the match! It did not take long for Mick Foley to get tagged into the match as Foley takes it to David Otunga, hitting the signature double-arm DDT before brining Mr. Socko back, using the Mandible Claw on David Otunga en route to picking up the win for himself and CM Punk. After the match, John Laurinaitis comes out, revealing that he did not allow Foley to compete in the match before reversing the decision and giving the win to Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry, & David Otunga!

CM Punk then says Mick Foley has nothing to do with what it is going on between him and Laurinaitis before saying that the fans have “no idea” who Laurinaitis is because Laurinaitis’ in-ring career “sucked”. The WWE Champion continues that Laurinaitis’ brother was one-half of the legendary Road Warriors while Laurinaitis has amounted to little more than “road kill”. Punk then says Laurinaitis cannot stand that Punk has achieved more in the past year than Laurinaitis has in his entire career. Punk continues that Laurinaitis is going to try and screw him out of the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble out of “jealousy” and Laurinaitis cannot stand the fact that he is the WWE Champion. Punk then says that it does not matter what Laurinaitis does because he will still be “better” than Laurinaitis before saying that, if Laurinaitis screws him over at the Royal Rumble, everyone will be talking about Laurinaitis because the GM will look like he was put through a “meat grinder” after Punk kicks his “pathetic ass”. Punk then fakes Laurinaitis out before calling the GM “pathetic” and exiting the ring.

John Laurinaitis then tries to shake off the comments made by CM Punk before saying that he is not pathetic and he will not be intimidated by CM Punk. Mick Foley then interrupts, calling the GM a “kiss-ass” and Laurinaitis asks if Foley wants to know if he will screw CM Punk at the Royal Rumble and Foley says that he does. Laurinaitis then admits that he will screw CM Punk out of the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble! The GM continues that he does his job well and he is “sick and tired of being disrespected” and is sick of being “bullied”. An unstable John Laurinaitis then says that he is not going to “take it anymore” before delivering a cheap shot to Mick Foley with a microphone! How will Mick Foley respond to John Laurinaitis’ cheap shot?

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