The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 8/4/11: THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME (but fun otherwise)

So now that Wrestlemania is in the b Alberto LOST at Wrestlemania to freaking Edge…Edge and I am super pissed off. So lets just get on with this. Well OK, its not all bad, we have Cody and Christian and Alberto’s next title shot, stuff like that to look forward to. I love you really, Smackdown.

Speaking of the devil, my poor man. He’s pretty devastated. He cant even ride in any car anymore. He’s right, destiny was only delayed. Oh wow, just when you thought Edge couldnt be a bigger douche. I have to say though, apart from the Asshole Babyfaceness this was pretty well done, with the ‘Brisco Bros.’ shout out, and the way Christian popped up was awesome. So Teddy makes the logical rematch and we have sense and a great main event here back on FRIDEE NIGHT SMACK DOWN. Mostly a really fun segment, and Alberto was tremendous here.

2 out of 3 Falls? What a weird thing for an 8-man tag to be. Anyway, you wouldnt BELIEVE how great this was. I mean, you would, if you’d seen me write one of a thousand times that WWE TV + multi-man match has never, ever equaled a bad thing. This was a hell of a lot of fun. They got like over 20 minutes too, which is awesome. The Gabes and Kane struggle-off early on was awesome. The first fall was great, Kofi’s crossbody is a perfect choice for that kind of ‘get a 3 count, but dont kill the guy’ finish. The second fall with Corre working as a super heel team and the final blow on Santino was cool too. Its kind of a shame that after such a good match they ended with a lame DQ, but with all the chaos and the babyface house clean made it seem OK. The Triple Cobra Chokeslam was pretty great. I dont think I will ever, ever tire of Santino antics.

Cody! Trent! Wahey! Trent is a great squashee, and Cody has turned into a great squasher. And this was a fun 60-second ass kicking. LOVED Cody putting his hand up to block the camera on the pin, wonderful. And Rey runs in because this feud must continue! Awesome, these guys are great together.

And a great Edge and Christian backstage segment. They were friends and cool with each other, they put over themselves and the title, but at the same time, Christian is thinking “Man, what if I won the World Title?” and Edge is thinking “I hope he doesnt think he can win my World Title.” So its fine…for now.

No, NO, NO, NO NO!

This is NOT COOL WITH ME. STOP BEING MEAN TO LAYLA! This is awful. I was so upset watching this I could have cried. Why cant you just love each other? At least, and I say this as like the smallest possible comfort, but at least Michelle is the heel.

And just to pick me right up..Michael Cole. Bugger the hell off. Ever since they failed to pay him off at Mania I’ve lost all the interest the King feud garnered and I want him dead again. Just dead. In the ground. Anyway, SIN CARA! I LOVE the idea of Sin Cara as a masked crusader fighting all the evil and injustice of the WWE Universe. But I cant wait until he starts working matches too.

COUPLES COUNSELLING?! OK, this breakup might have some juice in it after all. Maybe. -sob-

Alberto vs Christian! Believe me when I say it was just as good the third time around. Awesome fun main event. I say a lot of things about Edge, but I cant say that he’s a bad guest commentator. He did really well here because he brought his  “put the guys over” ammo and he’s also quick enough to back Cole down as well. And the match was great, they did some cool counters like the draping slap attempt, the wicked superplex and then the rollup,  and the stretch was really cool. Alberto WILL fulfill his destiny, just you wait. And Edge and Christian are there but you cant tell which way it will go or when it will go, which is great. Super work all round.

*FLASHBACK to 2007: Matt Hardy & MVP*

Matt Hardy vs Kenny Dykstra, Smackdown 20/7/07

This isnt about anything, but I saw the SD opening in this video and it brought back to me how much poorer the remix to the “Rise Up” song was. No idea why they changed it. Still miles better than Green Day though, I have to say. Anyway, in another flashback to random Smackdown low-carders who didnt last long after this moment, here’s Kenny Dykstra. When you talk about potential to accomplishment ratio, man, he’s gotta be up there.

Anyway, both these guys are selling because this match happened after the Battle Royal to determine the new World Champion, and as you’d recall, Edge was out, and the GREAT KHALI was in. And remarkably, they worked like they’d already wrestled a match, going for quick pins straight away, and then Kenny taking over on Matt’s Khali-kicked head. Kenny had a cool move here where he clotheslined Matt and held on with the other hand to roll through and  deliver another one. After a good but unmemorable 8 minute match, we at least get a cool finish with a SECOND ROPE TWIST OF FATE. That was pretty cool.

Like I said, this wasnt the greatest match ever, just a random 8 minute match, but it didnt need to be. It was Matt pulling through and getting a good win under his belt before his title shot on PPV. And with Cole and JBL selling it as such, you ended up feeling like MVP is the champ, Matt is obviously pretty damn good, and they are having a title fight on PPV. So, they did their job. Really looking forward to next week and the Great American Bash.