The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 15/4/11: The Edge of an Era

Edge is going. I’m gonna miss the big guy. I might not miss him stinking up my show with his Asshole antics, but I will miss him nonetheless. And its really going to be strange to have a Smackdown without Edge. But first, lets get through his final farewell to his home show, tonight, on FRIDEE NIGHT SMACK DOWN.

Sad video to open. I was all set for Edge to come out here that I was actually taken aback when it was Alberto. Woah, this is one of the bossest cars he’s ever had. Way to come back in style. I like how he plays it totally straight, putting Edge over until the end where he sort of slips in “oh, yeah, btw, he should hand me the world title”. You’re a funny man Al. A Battle Royal? That was weird, I thought it made more sense to plug Christian in since he’s beaten Alberto a few times, but I do like the symmetry considering Edge surrendered the title first in 2007 which led to a Battle Royal. Alberto’s tantrum was pretty great too. This guy is really something.

Zeke! Kofi! This should actually be good. Ahh, but see I missed their Raw angle so I forgot for a second that the Corre are BICKERING now. I had hopes for the Corre man, what a shame about them. Anyway, Kofi bumping around was fun but this was just background noise to this lame BICKERING angle, and you cant use Kofi for that crap, I wont allow it. I hope he gets time in the main event.

Therapy! I have to say before I see it, these women, as much as I love them, arent any good at Acting. Especially Michelle, God love her. So the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think this is a bad idea. But anyway. OK, it wasnt terrible, Layla had her moments, but it wasnt all that good either. Michelle is a terrible Actor. They need to get into the ring and start staring death at each other already. In any case, I am not happy.

But in much better news, CODY! The Greatest Man in the Entire World. This promo was cool as hell, Cody is so dark and twisted that nothing will make him feel better short of disfiguring Rey, and its awesome. A character like this is just so different from everyone else, and he plays it so different from everyone else. God I love this guy.

So Rey is working. I hope against Drew. WOAH YES! I called it suckers. I’ve no hope of a long match today since they all have to work twice, but no matter how short, this should be good. Fun first part, Drew just DRILLED him on the barricade. OK, I lied, this got plenty of time and it was GREAT. Drew beat the crap out of him, Rey made a comeback, Drew beat the crap out of him some more. The roll-through-Big Boot was an awesome shoutout to me with the Kofi-Christian-ness of it. And everything after and including this moment was EXCELLENT. Rey is so short that Drew gave him a giant ass LARIAT ON HIS KNEES. Drew was just Lariating and Lariating the HELL out of him. This guy just kicks your ass. Finish was edited weirdly but who cares, this was a great match with an awesome final stretch.

Insert Edge Highlight Video Here. Seriously, its quite good. They even show stuff like Hogan and Angle. They showed Edge backstage, this time before he came out, hugging his friends like Dean, Chavo, Striker, and then they did a big meeting~ between him and Kane, the eternal sh*tty rivals, which was pretty funny. I dont think there’s a guy who awkwardly bumps into people backstage better than Kane.

This was another great moment. First he talked about how much he loves his entrance again, even giving a shoutout to Alter Bridge, so he did this thing where he walked backstage, they hit his music and he did a sort of amalgamation of his old and new entrances – new music, old babyface running to the sides and pumping up the crowd, new pyro pose, and the old run and slide into the ring. It was pretty cool, and kudos to WWE for giving the guy 15 minutes on both shows this week to just do and say whatever he wants. Its nice. He pointed out his mum in the front row which elicited a “THANK YOU MUM” chant. Pretty funny. Anyway, this was all lovely and I teared up again, for a guy whom I dont even like. Wrestling really has its moments sometimes. You cant beat this kind of emotion.

Ahaha, Rosa and Alberto backstage! These two have the most subtle, secret relationship ever. I love it. I also liked the touch that they broke kayfabe the whole time with everyone else, but in the end, Edge couldnt bear to shake Alberto’s hand. Nice move going forward.

SHE DIDNT DO THE ENTRANCE WITH HER! What a biatch. I’m usually easy going with the logic stuff, but I really dont understand why, if Michelle isnt onboard with Team LayCool anymore, why does she even bother coming out with her? She’s not any good at commentary either, which doesnt help. And see, they’re doing this all wrong here, because as great a heel bumper as Layla is, when all she does is bump around and job, and Michelle is there saying she sucks…Michelle is right. Not good. The whole finish was weird because, again, Michelle says Layla sucks and all this is doing is proving the apparent heel right. But see, I told you they need to get in the ring, because when they stand there and look at each other I DIE every single time. Layla is legit one of the best facials guys in wrestling. NO STOP IT! I cant believe she pushed her. What a biatch. I’m pretty upset, and they need to do more to make people other than me care about Layla, otherwise this thing is dying.

We’ve got 25 minutes here folks, this should be pretty good; Battle Royals all things are usually better on Smackdown. I hope Trent gets time. NO! As soon as I say that he dies. I’ll just shut up now. AHAHAHA Slater got KNOCKED THE F OUT AGAIN! Awesome Punch of Doom. And boom he takes out Zeke! And himself! I’m still waiting for their big man battle. Loved Alberto laughing and clapping when they got eliminated. We’re back from the break and NO KOFI! God damn it man. Ahahahahaha, Kane and Brodus had a BIG MAN FACEOFF, and Kane just immediately goes BAMUPPERCUTBIATCH! I laughed. I love when guys in a group are in a Battle Royal, and its only after like 10 minutes that they find each other and go “Hey, yeah, look at us – teaming up!” Man, Gabes should so throw Wade out, that would be so much better than the opposite, which is what I assume happens. Chris Masters NO! I’m glad he got this far anyway. YES GABES! YES! OK, that was fun.

I like the Final Four of Christan, Rey, Swagger and Gabes. Enjoyed the Rey/Gabes work. Rey and Christian should have a babyface battle, and wahey what do you know! Those two could so have the best 15 minute Smackdown match ever. Cole panicking about Swagger leading to him DOIN’ A VICKIE was cool, but what on earth was with Swagger bringing Rey back into the ring?! I mean, I know why, and it worked for him in the end, but it looked really bad. Enjoyed the elimination teases here, the way he went out was unexpected. The problem with the final two was that there was no way Swagger was winning, but whatever, it was good work. When they were in the ropes I thought “Pendulum Kick!” but then Swagger counters with the Ankle Lock, I marked because I actually did not see it coming. For a split second when Alberto grabbed the leg I thought “NO!” Good finish.

Edge coming out to raise his hand was a nice touch. AND, in the best news in, like, forever, and the best news to come out of Edge’s retirement, Christian is wrestling for a World Title on PPV, and Christian and Alberto get to blow off their awesome feud with a World Title Ladder Match on PPV. So there’s the silver lining to this strange, strange week. Adios, my antagonistic Asshole.

*FLASHBACK to 2007: Matt Hardy & MVP*

United States Championship: MVP vs Matt Hardy, Great American Bash 2007

So here we are, the GAB, Matt Hardy’s first real shot at a major singles championship in his career. Thats what I’m told anyway, and I’m buying it. I’ve loved this build and I LOVED their first match, cant wait for them to get it on. As an aside, this is also reason #3 why I am STILL pissed that I paid money for this PPV and somehow lost the tape forever (Cena/Lashley and Umaga/Jeff are the others and altogether make this one of the better B shows of the decade).

They start off with some trading holds, and let me say I dont think I can ever hate life when I see guys start trading holds and the babyface gets the better of it. THAT is pro wrestling. Its the little things, with me. Anyway, Matt going DIVE early on was pretty cool, but possibly not as cool as when they were locked in a test of strength and all of a sudden started a HEADBUTT BATTLE. The reaction from the crowd, being all “Yes, I see, a test of stren-WOAH YOU GUYS ARE KICKING ASS!” was awesome. I have to say, one thing I’ve enjoyed so far from Matt and MVP is the strikes they throw – Matt’s sharp rights, the elbows from the ground, the headbutt battle I just saw – these guys are BAD. ASS.

I also love JBL. Newsflash. But specifically here, I love him putting over the psychology of MVP working up to his Boot, which ties right into Matt bumping his neck and MVP going to work on it. Which ties in as well to Smackdown where his head and neck were killed by Khali. They get into some fun stuff in the back end, the superplex and then the second one countered, the EXPLOSIVE clothesline Matt does, Matt’s bulldog attempt completed by the Super Bulldog. MVP even does, I swear to God, a clunky, proto-version of Kofi’s S.O.S., which was one of the stranger things I’ve seen in a while. The final minutes were really good work. Then, after all the roll ups and Twist of Fate attempts he can muster, he just jars his neck one too many times and MVP BOOTS HIM TO DEATH. This guy is dead, but MVP Playmakers him anyway and hooks both legs just to be sure – Matt kicked out of the Boot the first time and he’s not taking ANY chances here. That finish was INCREDIBLE detail work.

I will say that this match wasnt as good as the first SD match, but I mean, thats pretty harsh of me to say since their first match blew me away so damn hard. This was a really great match, and as part of this ongoing story it was perfect. This was Matt’s big chance, he was up for it, we all know he can beat MVP. But he just comes down hard on his neck really early, and after the damage done by Khali (only two nights ago!), it was an uphill battle from there. But he fought and he fought and he got so many nearfalls, he definitely could have won on a better day, but the neck injury did him in. So MVP is great, Matt is great, and the only thing between them was the bad luck of an injury.

So basically, all Matt needs is a rematch with MVP when he’s 100%. Can he get it? Find out, as MattVP continues, next week, on Smackdown!