The Redman Report: WWE 7th & 11th March: Cliff Notes Version

Or in other words, 15 reasons why I’m glad I waited all week to watch WWE TV.

• Randy Orton. The booking was just God awful, but he himself is performing perfectly in his role at the mo’, he’s incredibly over, and the face off and the SPEEDPUNT bit was fun to watch.
• Sin Cara vignettes. Really cool looking, and its awesome how much of a deal they’re making out of him. Cant wait until he shows up.
• Michael Cole – sort of. His Divas rant and the overly-forced Austin tease failed me spectacularly, but his work after Austin came out was just glorious, Chickensh*t Heel 101 stuff.
• “I hate bullies.” I cried for an hour. JAY. BEE. FREAKING. EL. Good Lord how I have missed this man. If he doesnt somehow make his way back onto TV I dont know what I’ll do.
• Steve Austin. That was a fun,fun, FUN segment.
• Shawn Michaels. Again. I really love these interviews, and I liked the tie-in later to HHH on Smackdown.
• Three magic words: “against Trish Stratus”.
• “I BRING IT VIA SATELLITE”. The promo was hit and miss, the bits telling Rock to show up were good, the cheap vulgarity, I guess trying in vain to recapture the pinwheel line and forgetting that it worked because it was risque AND actually clever, that sucked. But the t-shirt brought it all back home.
• The Miz. Great intensity on the beatdown and the promo, even if people really couldnt give a sh*t about him anymore.
• William Regal on commentary. On NXT, if you didnt know. Great way to use him and he did pretty well.
• Big Show’s bad-ass CHAIR-PUNCH OF DOOM.
• Cody Rhodes, still known as the GREATEST MAN IN THE WORLD. Coming out pissed off as hell in his slacks and shirt, and especially throwing those wicked HEADBUTTS on JTG. An incredible man.
• John Cena bein’ serious. A good thing.
• Laycool. FRIENDS FOREVER.
• Rey vs Drew. I sat through more than 4 hours of TV waiting for a match longer than 3 minutes, but here we are. A GREAT little TV match too, the sequence leading to the apron bump was amazing work. Drew continues to be great, and Rey is back to being great.